BJ you are right! And I've been sizing my conversations waaaay down. I've got to get it to one sentence "once and done" is great.
I actually have been doing this alot - from one of the books I read, I learned that men prefer to not talk things to death, and women do because that is how we connect. I did really well today with keeping things KISS when we spoke. I actually feel good about today.
It rained a ton (BJ you must know this if you live in the Bay Area) so we never went to the sub. Yes, that one at fishermen's warf is the one. H gets annoyed if I propose any solutions, so I just let him decide what he wanted to do with S and FIL. H said come to the house. At first, I played with S so FIL and H could talk - and we all had dinner which went smoothly and then after a glass of wine we all were joking around and laughing at South Park jokes, etc. Stupid, but it was really good to be light and laughing. This makes being home a positive thing.
H and FIL went into SF to have dinner with BIL and H won't be here until tomorrow. The plans are up in the air depending on weather, but we agreed just to talk tomorrow. I'm keeping focused on my plans unless I"m invited.
I fail to see how asking about the plans is badgering him, however, I did see the futility in talking late at night if he wasn't in the mood or knowing what he wants. I did walk away and just go to bed and take care of myself - later he came in and invited me.
Sigh. Hard to see how we will ever get along again, let alone get back together. Still, doing way more detaching and GAL than previously.
