Give yourself time to cry tonight. Cry until you can't cry anymore. Then rinse your face and go to bed. Get some sleep. You will wake up in the morning drained, but much calmer.
I've been at this about the same amount of time as you. It comes at you in waves. Sometimes you can float on top of them, sometimes you have to swim like crazy and sometimes they swamp you.
I don't know how old you are, but if you are in your 40's it could be that you have peri-menopause. I am, and I only mention it because one week out of the month I am a mess. Normally I can DB with the best of them, but that one week I feel desperately frightened that this will never improve, I cry, and pace the floor. Now I've realized when I get to feeling that way it is my crazy week, and I am able to talk myself through it a bit.
Even cheerleaders need to rest honey. Be gentle with yourself. You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel some sadness now and then.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
