A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[The Wifey]

Hey, Wifey? How do the two of you handle holidays? Is your H welcome at extended-family get-togethers on your mother's side?

My H is absolutely welcome by everyone, but my parents. So, no, he isn't able to come with me to visit, not that he wants to.

The thing is that we still do holidays as a "family" at my in-laws house. Coupled with the fact that my parents are snowbirds and already in Florida for the winter, its just us up North.

When it comes to the MIL, I have to tell you it is something your H will have to address. I already had a convo with my Mom where she told me I should just get a D and move on with my life. She said she will never ever forgive or accept my H or have him around.

I calmly told her that she was entitled to her feelings and that we all have choices to make. But, God willing, my marriage will be restored and he will be coming home. I told her that I love my family, I love my H, and I am just glad to know how she feels.

I relayed this to my in-laws, that have been amazing to me actually, and they were sad. At the same time they were amazed that I was so calm and strong while I told them. They think their son has lost his mind and hope he will figure out what he wants sooner rather than later.

I think if you focus on the two of you, and acknowledge that she is definitely not approving of the reconciliation, that it will be addressed. Ignoring it or not talking about it would make it an "issue" but just agreeing that it is what it is and growing beyond it makes it the two of you dealing with the MIL. With my cold I have no idea if that makes sense.