It's MY life now!!!........

[Silent Chrleader]

Well, I think that I qualify for the official poster child of DB failure. It's said that it's not about saving the M but about saving yourself. I am a dismal failure at both!

I have been doing my dambdest to GAL, PMA, etc.... I go dancing several nights a week and have made new friends. I have been pleasant and aloof in all my dealings with STBXH for the last several months. I don't call him unless I absolutely have to and when we do speak I am upbeat, and positive, and try to be the one to end the conversation. I have tried to let him go with love and move on with my life. I don't want or even like the man he has become. So, why can't I let this go!!?????

He doesn't love me. He doesn't even miss me a little bit. And here I sit sobbing over this man who doesn't want me, and pouring my heart out via this computer to a bunch of people I don't even know....... how totally pathetic is that!!???? We've been seperated for 16 months! Why can't I get over it already!

I went dancing with a friend over the weekend who has been divorced for 13 years, and hasn't "met a man" yet....... I don't think I could be alone for the rest of my life, but I don't want to be with someone because I can't be alone either! And I have no idea how to be "single". I was with my H since I was 17, and I never felt I was missing anything.

I guess I'm just not strong enough...... I just don't think I can do this.....