Not wanting to be on this boat........

[ClingingToHope]

I wonder how successful these methods end up being?? I have dreams and ideas about the rest of my life that do not include jerking around for the next couple of years with a person that I do not even know anymore....

There is a forum with success stories and I've looked through those. I'm likely headed for a D, but honestly I haven't gone long enough without pursuing. I was warned by a DB counselor that my case could take a year or more to fix.

I don't want to date unless something has been filed so I'm going to offer a lower cost collaborative divorce -- something new here in Illinois.

It'll put the ball in her court. In my case, she'll owe me money to divorce -- pension, auto and credit card debt she ran up -- and she needs to see that at some point.

Our only chance is to survive and thrive and perhaps at some point the WAS will see he or she made a mistake. I know the scheming to see her and eloquent speeches weren't working.

So really DBing is about rebuilding your own self esteem and by any measure if you can do that you have been successful.