Fog is definitely real, as I've watched my W go into it, and now come out of it. One year ago she was completely unrealistic about the emotional and financial ramifications of her actions on us and our kids, she would get extremely angry and reactive to any criticism of her, she knew all of our problems were 100% my fault, she had no attraction to me whatsoever, and she was convinced our R was dead and we should absolutely get a D. Now one year later, she admits she didn't realize how financially hard this was going to be. She cries for the kids and the pain they're in. She feels great guilt over the pain she's caused me. She is kind to me and is completely owning her failings in our M. She says I'm a great man and that I'm hot. She doesn't know if she wants a D and we're talking about reconciliation.
If that's not fog, I don't know what is. The truly infuriating thing is, she's a waaaaay better person now after the fog than she was before it all started, so it's hard for me to even be angry about it all. The fog has a way of taking a lot of garbage with it when it goes. I'm a way better person too.
The truly infuriating thing is, she's a waaaaay better person now after the fog than she was before it all started, so it's hard for me to even be angry about it all. The fog has a way of taking a lot of garbage with it when it goes. I'm a way better person too.
I know that reality hitting you hard and the guilt is a big motivator. I had my own fog and that partially caused my W's. At least I'm a better person for it.
She doesn't see it at all and the intensity of the fog makes me think it will last for a while. But the probability of her coming out of it a better person gives me some hope. Thanks.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
