I think I need to have one more talk with my W before she goes to see our MC later this week. I need to make sure she knows what the stakes are from my end. Over the last couple months the boundaries between us have been very soft. We've done things together as a family and just her and me. She says she doesn't miss me a lot of the time? What a joke. I haven't let her miss me! We're together all the time!
I need to tell my W that if she decides not to cut that lifeline (completely end her A with OM), then I have only one choice, which is to move fully ahead with the S and D, and insist on new hard boundaries, essentially cutting off all contact with her. Custody transitions can go through her mother's place, so I never have to see her, and I'll tell her not to call me any more, for anything, ever. All kid issues, barring emergency, are to be handled through e-mail and texting. I'll tell her I won't stand near her at any of our kids' games or events, and I won't talk to her. Not because I'm angry or vindictive, but because seeing her will make it harder for me to move on and build a new life.
I feel like I need to proactively tell her this, rather than just react and do it if she says OM is too important to her to give up, because once she makes that declaration it'll be a lot tougher for her to back up. She's pondering things very seriously now, and I need to make sure I've made my position clear. She needs to know our R will be OVER if she decides to hold onto her A and OM.
I'm not nearly as confident in this as it probably sounds. Anyone here have an opinion?
