Trying to save my M. W not really trying though.

[Hope4us]

I'll give you one more bit of encouragement before I need to go home to my bride.

Two years ago about this time, my W was planning on D'ing me and marrying OM. I saw the text messages. OM was going home to Louisiana (we live in Ohio) to talk to his W about a D so he and my W could get together. My W sent him a TM and asked if he'd talked to his W about it and he replied that he didn't have a chance to because she and their kids had gone out to dinner without him, but he would. My W was very excited.

One problem with that. OM never went home. He was lying to my W the whole time. Shortly after that I contacted OMW and told her what was going on. When we were talking I told her that story and she told me he hadn't been home for months. Imagine that, an affair partner lying to the one they're cheating with.

That's why these things never last. Usually one party is more invested than the other because they want MORE. And usually, one party is in it for the sex (read that as the man). Of course there are exceptions, but OM in your sitch is married and I would almost bet that he has no intention of leaving his W.

So now that your W has this idea in her head she's going to move out and everything will be fairy tales and butterflies, OM will never be able to measure up to what she's given up for him, even if he tries. Once the A falls apart, then you can attempt to reconcile, if that's what you choose to do.

I read a book by Harley that states only 10 out of 100 affairs lead to marriage and of those 10, only 2 or 3 last more than 5 years.

Quit worrying about what she might be doing. Right now, even she doesn't know what she's doing, even if it appears she does.

Like Puppy mentioned, she might just want the money because it gives her the feeling that she can leave if she wants to even if she doesn't.

Keep your chin up.