Well I suppose it depends on what the original complaints were from your wives. If "you never do anything around the house" was a complaint, yeah, she probably wont appreciate you doing less. But if you feel like you are doing way more in some area - housecleaning, bill paying, etc, and I think BJ has said she needs to move out and get a job - then I'd say force her hand in that dept.
In other words - don't tell her, just somehow make it certain that she needs to do this - whether through the D or whatever. If you are doing more housework, leave it. Whatever it is, money, or housework, or whatever, if she needs to do more, make a situation where you are refusing to take care of that dept and do it.
I speak from experience on the other side. My H wanted me to stop doing theatre for a year. I refused - it was a big argument. Then he moved out and started going out the nights I had rehearsals. I had to find babysitters and I found I wasn't comfortable with my S being with bbsitters so often. So I stopped theatre to be with S.
It was my decision, rather than a fight with H. I dealt with the reality of not having that person at home that I used to. I did what I had to do. I'm saying something like this would empower you greatly.
