It seems to be working.... sometimes #2

[kjensen]

Hi Sandycay,

When my H asked for a divorce, he says that was the very worst day of his life. It also was a turning point in that he started talking to me and opening up with me, just as the OW dumped him 2 days later...

Let your H feel the loss of what a divorce would mean. Let him "try" the feeling on and imagine how life would be different for you and him and him and your children. Validate his feelings, but make sure you don't 'figure this out' for him...
If he truly feels that a divorce is what he wants, let him do all of the work.

Be the woman he fell in love with years ago-don't change who you are, just accentuate the best that you are right now. DB as consistently as possible.

Our H's looking for that "spark" seems to be a pretty common theme. Hopefully at some point they'll realize that they are darn lucky to have us, as friends, spouses, lovers..the spark comes and goes in mature love. If they are continually looking for that 'magic feeling" they are still living in teen dream land...and have a bit further to go before they come back to us...

Be patient and don't think this is the end. its just a turn in the road.