I'm really struggling today guys. Feeling depressed and distracted. This whole "we're closer now but still getting divorced" business is killing me. We cuddle up on the couch but that's it.
I left her a message a little while ago saying I hope she's having a good day. Cause you know, "we're closer" now. She said she was thinking about me all day yesterday...
I'm glad I have a C appointment this afternoon.
Well, she said it - she realized how much she doesn't want to lose me - but she has this one big problem. I can't talk my way out of it, I can't show my way out of it if we're not being intimate, and maybe she's right that we're "incompatible" - that scares me. She says that she has no hope of her needs being met in our relationship, and the only way she can see to change that is to leave.
Sorry if I'm repeating prior posts- this is just going around and around in my mind.
Yes, Retro was a positive experience - I just feel like I"m hurting a lot more now. I've gone backwards in my detaching. Seems like I've really jumped into grieving now.
Am I being silly? Am I overlooking something significant? Are my expectations too high? Sigh. Feel like my emotions have the better part of me today. Well, most days.
I feel now like our new closeness from Retro is leading to me leaning on her for comfort, reassurance, whatever. And it's hollow, it just makes me feel worse. It would be great if she'd come out wanting to work on the M - but, what she said is that she wants to enjoy the time with me that we have left.
