There have been many people on this board, active and retired, who were able to detach and then save their marriages. One guy in particular, it wasn't so much he detached as much as he truly gave up. Low and behold, she came RUNNING BACK. Some others have been able to detach and move forward with saving their marriages. I don't know that you can save it otherwise, if you don't.
Frankly RSF, I think this is a strange question from you, considering you wife has done possibly the ultimate detachment and look how you now want to work it out......
