Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

No, what I would expect when you begin to start to date is a RESPONSE. It may not come when she reads the e-mail, which is just an announcement of your intention (I didn't get one then either); it may come when you go out on your actual FIRST DATE with someone else.

Just be ready for it.

Puppy

How will she know I've been out on a date though?

What reaction did you get when Mrs. Puppy found out about your date? How did she find out about it?

This is all confusing me again. The touches that she allows, the sexual thrusting / brushing that I did last week (both of which my IC said were ME testing HER which was a nice twist on it) the support for my dancing class that she gave me (she thought it was great I was going), the noticing that I can now get into my suit trousers (as I've lost 30 pounds since we split and I had no idea she even knew what my suit trousers look like), she noticed I had new trainers and 'nice' new boots and the great time we have when we spend time together with my daughter (and it seems very natural and not in the slightest forced good time). That all says to me she is watching me, checking me out, looking me up and down and she is noticing these things. She also told me that a work colleague hasn't seen me at the gym in a while ... more checking me out, seeing if I have changed. I suppose these are at least tiny little good signs? If she didn't care, why would she even mention it?

Then she ignores me and doesn't text for a week at a time.

Is this s**t normal? Is this just more of the testing? She gives with one hand (nice boots), she enjoys the attention (she let's me touch her without pulling away as I would if the circumstances were reversed as it's inappropriate for me to be sexually pushing myself against her a$$ when she is involved in a relationship with somebody else) and then takes away with the other hand (ignores me) ...

Have to say I wept a little earlier. Haven't done that in a long time now. The fact I got no response from her just made me think she really couldn't care less anymore. Then I think of the above. Then I think I'm confused. Then I think I'm reading far too much into this. Then I get annoyed, p***ed off and start to get back to normal again.

I really am not over her in the slightest. That's a bit of a shock to me as I did think I was doing well.

Sorry for the long post but I'm at the beginning of a very very long road and it's a difficult way to walk as I'm sure you all already know.

I wish the books would come!!! ARRGGHH Amazon ....