DD, you said it perfectly. For a while now I have been going over the hurt and my fear is/was that I lose the chance to have a good relationship with him because I gave up the crucial moment. And my biggest fear is that he will not change enough, or soon enough. It is a risk. I am not a fool or a 20yr old. Everything I have learnt and been thru, will fall now in its place. EITHER WAY I decide to go. And FG, guess what? When last night I finished Passionate Marriage for the 3rd time, I realised something: I AM a "leader". At work, in my relationships, everywhere. It's who I am. It's who I will be. I know how to control it now, or better even, I know that being a leader doesnt mean to control. That's part of my growth. I was too hurt to realise that by sticking to this "circling" mode I was NOT holding on to myself. I am ready now. If he is in, I am can do this. I know it's hard. But I am feeling good. K
