Cake eating WAW in MLC and EA part 2

[CABBR]

I just read AlexEn's sitch on dropping the D bomb on the kids at the beginning of August. Some great posts there. As is said so often, there are so many similarities.

I will be going through this part of the "process" in about a week or so. I don't expect s9 to react violently but he will be plenty pissed.

My W of course has all the books about coping too and is wanting to create handwritten books for s6 and s9, which sounds like more of the morally relativistic nonsense about how families don't end but relationships do. She'll want to develop a script.

We have a counseling session with a child psychologist next week and my W wants to tell the kids the same day. She now agrees that the children need time to process the situation, i.e. don't wait until the day before she is moving out.

I want to take the Coach approach and say nothing during the speech. I want her to own it because it's her choice, but don't want to seem vindictive or provide ammunition for my boys to build resentment toward W (though they already have), which is why I think saying nothing is probably best.

I don't think anything should be said about her spending or EA post bomb, but I'm not sure how to handle ambiguous explanations that skirt the truth. I believe my W will want to make this seem as innocuous and mutual as possible, i.e. "we've decided to end our marriage," but I worry about the "because" part of the statement. I'm wondering how to handle this aspect - the bullchit factor as PDT might say.

My W wanted to speak with me late Saturday night about custody schedules, property division, vacations, etc. I asked her what her intentions were in regard to living arrangements and working. She confirmed she is looking for another house to buy and has no plans to begin working full time for at least 6-8 months so she can finish course work in mediation(LOL) certification. W indicates her first priority is to be a Mom to our children and therefore will not work a regular job at least for a few years. I just sort of nodded and didn't get too agitated.

Her proposed custody schedule is more reasonable, but I let her know (again) that I will not accept less than 50% physcial custody and she starts saying she is offering more than I would get, asking if I know the law and hopes I am listening to my L - as if I am ignoring L's advice. She finally packs up her marbles and says we can fight it out in court along with everything else.

Funny, she was a little nicer the next morning.

Cabbr.