Had a great day,wife went to work,she's nuts, she mowed in the rain,more stuff of mine and hers in a pile in the garage.
But she did make dinner,she was nice on her texts for a bit.
D pulled the teenage get away with anything bit,so I took her friends home,she texted me and told me she's telling mom. I know she did and big flipping deal,we'll see how good wifes' words were when she emailed and said she supported me.
I'm about ready to start stating my boundaries. When I get kids no flipping friends and D can pull her bs with you, not me.
this was earlier today, wife asked for suggestions on how to handle D, I didn't respond. Telling her for yrs to quit being her friend and be a parent.
I feel good about myself,I didn't crumble and I only responded to emails or texts which were important AND I KEPT THEM SHORT. Yes,no, other than text about a D issue, and that one I texted so no confusion, not angry,no acquisations,or digs,i was saying thx for telling me about something that happened 2or3 wks earlier.
To which she asked about money.Didn't respond to that one either.
One of the strangest Parts of MLC is the train of thoughts that will come to you from the MLCer.
They will go back in time, bring things up, things that you either thought they didn’t notice, or that are weeks, months, or even years old. And you will be just floored.
They will also do these strange things, like mowing the grass in the rain, because the circuit that makes things logical is short circuiting.
Not one of us here can explain the nice texts versus the nasty ones, other than, it was the mood she was in at the time.
None of us can explain all of the goofy behavior, except that it is part of MLC.
It is up to you to not let it make you spin.
I still feel there is a lot of anger with you. You understand MLC a bit, and that is a good first step.
You are angry with it though. You are angry with your wife for going through this. You are angry with yourself because you can’t stop it.
All very normal feelings, but I feel like you are not answering texts, or choosing which ones to answer, not really based on what we have told you, but still to prove something to her.
Right now it feels like you are trying to prove to her that she has not gotten to you. She has. This has. It is normal.
I feel like you are still hoping that you will see her start to see you in a different light NOW. It doesn’t happen that quickly. It took my H a year to even notice that I had lost 40 pounds. Never mind the internal stuff.
It is ok to observe and wonder a bit. But right now, it is up to you to keep your head above water and not let each and everything she says or does sink you into the pit of analyzing it from every direction. As you can slow that down, I think you will find yourself responding to her from a bit of a different place.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
I'm angry now, I hadn't been up to this point. She has lied to me about everything, flat out lied and she's been planning this, that's why no more boos in the house.
