Do what is best for your daughter. This is hard emotionally. It sounds like your child has been through a lot....so just do what is best for her, not the step-mom.
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When my W, my D and me all get together at least my W get's to see who I have become and how I've changed, the clothes I'm wearing etc. and we get to talk about life and the universe and it's actually quite fun. Not sure if stopping all of that will actually accomplish anything ... or will it?
That is a valid point and you could do that. Just don't have contact with wife except when it concerns your D.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
