Yes A's throw you for a loop. It will take a long time to get over (if you ever do), but I would encourage you to not do anything in haste. That woman your wife used to be is still in there. Trust me on that one. Once the A has ended for good and she's had time to clear her head (de-fog), you'll be amazed at the turn around. It was over a year after my W's A ended before I saw glimpses of her old self and then another couple months before I saw the real her.
This was true for me as well. In fact, this "new" version of my wife is even better and stronger than the old, pre-affair one! I'm glad I stuck it out.
