Trying to save my M. W not really trying though.

[Hope4us]

The A really threw me & made me question whether or not I want to bust this D or just let it happen. I love the woman my W used to be but she's not that person any more. I don't know who she is.

Now is the time for me to re-focus.

Yes A's throw you for a loop. It will take a long time to get over (if you ever do), but I would encourage you to not do anything in haste. That woman your wife used to be is still in there. Trust me on that one. Once the A has ended for good and she's had time to clear her head (de-fog), you'll be amazed at the turn around. It was over a year after my W's A ended before I saw glimpses of her old self and then another couple months before I saw the real her.

Just saying you don't have to make that decision right this minute whether you want to attempt to reconcile or not. Like you said, now is the time to focus on yourself.