I'm afraid Mrs. Thinker is like that character in Peanuts, Pigpen, who walks around in his own cloud of dirt. But her cloud is not dirt, it's depression and anger. It follows her wherever she goes. She can't decide to love because she has already decided not to love.
You would need to ask your questions of an attorney, how to extricate yourself from a marriage with a person who is incapable of loving you and being nice to you.
