Sorry to hear you had a very rough day. It won't help to hear that it's part of the process. What you write is what YOU felt, what YOUR reality was. Many times relationships drift on belief rather than action.
Your wife has to have a wall up with you to go where she's going. And the rug has been pulled out from beneath you. Emotional chaos could reign.
In my case it felt like I was at a beach swept away by a riptide, panicking then swimming horizontally to the beach. Eventually I was able to stand on my tippy toes. The waves would slosh on my face as I gulped to breathe and try and grip the silty sand. I learned to bob with the waves, keeping afloat with a slight jump to take me over the crest. Ever so gently more of my body was exposed as I headed to shore til I found myself on the beach exhausted with wobbly legs.
You're a wonderful man. You do good things. You love with all your heart. Give some of the love and caring your share so generously with others to yourself.
