W wants to separate

[notagoodlistener]

Thanks for the replies all. Thanks for the list Sandi. That is pretty comprehensive. I'm just going to update based on yesterday like I see alot of people doing. I read most of the book on the train and I have ordered the "Light Her Fire" book as well. I have three other that came in yesterday too that all are marriage and passion related that I can get through on my train rides pretty quickly I think. Just a little bit left to go on DR. It did seem to give me a sense of calm and put me in a better mood after I had read it for awhile. It also left me torn about how to act, but the big thing I have in my mind right now is just not to pursue and to be nice and not mope. Those alone seem to keep her in a good mood. I'm not bringing up discussing anything. Just small talk and daughter.

So, last night on my way home I give the polite call and say I'm thinking about grabbing some food and if she was hungry at all. Careful to phrase it in a way that I'm just being nice and thinking about her but not going out of my way. Then she tells me that she has cooked us dinner and it is ready. Then she talked about D2 for awhile and I listened and then said I'd see her in a bit.

So I get home and change then play with my daughter who is too damn cute. I finally sit and eat and it was just sitting in front of the TV the three of us and it was pleasant chit chat. Then we sort of start doing our own things. She did ask if I had a call back on any of the places I was looking at. Obviously, that sucked but I stayed positive and said yes, but I need to keep looking. So, I looked online a little bit and she sat in the room with me for awhile and mentioned that she had a client that might have a place, but that was about it. I stopped engaging, so then she left to go fold clothes in the guest room I'm sleeping in. After awhile of looking online, I remembered that I needed to cancel our hotel this weekend because it is our anniversary in 2 days and we were going to go away. That was also hitting home, but I was positive and told her that it was done.

Then, I said that I wanted to lay down and read so she left the guest room. I had also cleaned the dishes from the dinner she made which she noticed before she went to bed and thanked me for this AM before I went to work. She was asking me about my workout this morning as well and I just kept it nice and short but polite. I gave my daughter a kiss and said goodbye.

So, pleasant so far. I didn't linger and just took off. Then, she called while I was driving an hour later and told me she brought back a couple of movies. I just said thanks, it's no big deal if they're late, I don't care about a few bucks but thanks for bringing them back (really not a reason to call me at all). Then I got the vibe she wanted to talk more but she didn't know what to say or something to keep the conversation going, but I shut it down and just said to have a great day and that I'd see her tonight even though I was happy she called and wouldn't have minded talking to her more. I just know that there is a higher probability that I say something that makes her pullback then come closer the longer the conversation goes at this point in the game so it's better for me to keep it conservative.

Our anniverary is in two days. It's a tough sitch I think. I got her something that she needs that isn't expensive and not romantic, but thoughtful. I might do a simple flowers and cards because I think it's the right thing to do, but I'm keeping it light and vanilla. Nothing to make her feel guilty, just appreciated.

See what happens today. We are both working all day so I'll see her around 8:30 or so for about 1 1/2 hrs before I retire to the guest room.

I'm thinking I should not push my luck in the guest room and just get on top of finding a place quickly and getting out of there, but it feels like I'm rushing the end of us ever being together if I do that and it is not something I feel compelled to rush. I think if I stay too long though she'll just get annoyed that I didn't go and respect her wishes. That's when it's going to be tough and I won't see or talk to her anywhere near as much.....anyway. Til the next update.