BBJ, having someone in your presence that you care for (who does not care for you as much) on a regular basis is very difficult. In my opinion, for your sake, you will have to figure out a way to keep him out of the house. Boundaries need to be erected slowly. The kids and what they say hurt as well...i tried once to share what D8 told me and i was told that perhaps it was my general attitude that brought it on. I realized at that moment that regardless of what i would "report", the WAS would not accept responsibilty....that is still probably true today. So...although i sympathize with the fact that Dan has literally been the only man in your life and that he is the father of your children, if you ask me (and you did not), the house (regardless of who owns it on paper) needs to be your refuge. You should not have to hide in your own home and he has had plenty of time to make the neccesary arrangements to have his own home for himself and the kids.
