#66 Looking for Susnhine...

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Bworl... no, in fact, K may have noticed, but I've been very muted and non commital on the "new york" issue and certainly not encouraged that. As for examples like this..

I certainly do NOT advocate my friends just get into or stay in any relationship regardless. I have been imploring my sister for 18 months to let go of a man I believe is no good for her, eventhough at 42, that may mean she loses her last chance to have a child by having to start over single. Even with that, I'd rather she left than stay in an R with someone that has lied to her and has a personality disorder.

We have our friends G and Cher who are engaged, and he has been seeing a woman behind her back (now ended) and says he is in a mess and needs time..well in that case, I do NOT believe she should stay with him and have not encouraged her to, I have encouraged her to get out and enjoy life and let him go.

I lived with a man for 3 years and he had a one night stand and some other things.. I threw him out. He begged for another chance, I said no. When he once came to my house to confront me, I called the police to have him removed. I'm no pushover and I wasnt afraid to draw a line in the sand in that case.

I look at each case individually and K afterall is still here saying she is prepared to wait and see for a little while longer.. I think that was said a page or two ago. And I support her in that.

If K told me she was done with her H and didnt love him, I would be in support of proceeding with a D, if thats what she wanted. I agree he has behaved abominally and lied beyond what is acceptable. BUT, I believe there is a strong soul connection between them (there isnt with G and Cher and my sisters bf is bad news).. and I feel its worth hearing him out at least and not just for the sake of the children (although having kids together does add gravitas to the situation and perhaps you would try harder than an unmarried, childless couple to see if reconciliation is possible).

I guess I just have the capacity for huge forgiveness, WHEN it may be appropriate.

I said to K here before and on the phone, all humans are flawed, some more than others and her H certainly is. Very flawed. The "brain fart" thing was just a joke.

The question still remains, from me, John, Kerry, FG... it all depends on what you REALLY want and if you still love him.. and so far K, you're not answering that one !