Is this the end of my marriage?

[sandi2]

So dropping the rope isn't for the WAS, it's for the LBS?

It is for both. If you can get this picture of her in your mind and you are holding a rope that you've tied around her waist and she is pulling with all her might to get away while you are holding back as hard as you can. Suddenly, you drop the rope! What does that cause? Well, in reality she would almost fall on her face.....or at least stumble around a bit due to her pulling away so hard and suddenly not having anything holding her. She is so shocked that she turns around to look at you to see what is going on that caused you to let go of her. Now, she may feel relief, but she is also curious as to "why" and that is going to lead her to watch you for some clues. What she needs to see when she turns to look at you....is a man who is not even looking at her any longer. You are looking the other direction from her. You are not interested in what she's doing! If you are moving forward and living your life as if she is no longer a part of that life.....then she more than likely will get a little bit closer to see what is going on. All of this is human nature. Trust me about this. If...."if" she does not move a little bit closer to check it out....then it really is over and you might as well shut the door.

I understand the fear involved. Start with NC and work with that until you feel that you can do more.

Another question is whether the contact with me, my wife and my daughter can only be a good thing

How old is your daughter? This is going to be very difficult for you to have NC and then this "family" get together every time your W has visitation. Why do you have to be there? Why does she have to be at your house? Does this confuse your D or give her hope of the family reconciling?