Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

So dropping the rope isn't for the WAS, it's for the LBS?

You're right though it is total fear that dropping the rope gives her what she wants - NC and the ability to carry on her affair in secret just up the road. But, as it's for me the NC would actually be good for me too, outside of the contact with my daughter.

Another question is whether the contact with me, my wife and my daughter can only be a good thing. The last contact we had you wouldn't have known we were actually separated at all as we were all laughing and joking etc. It doesn't give me hope that everything is okay, but it actually solidifies in my mind that there is still something there. See the comments above from me about her not flinching when I touch her, brush past her or even thrust myself at her. Don't know, as Puppy says, whether I'm reading too much into them. It just struck me as weird that she didn't flinch as I know I would have. But then I'm not of the mind where I would become a WAS.

Can you say what would be an advantage of hanging on and pulling back on that emotional rope?

When you put it like that. None. Only bad can come of it. I think though you need to reach a place where you can drop that rope. I don't think I'm quite there yet, although there is NC. I think dropping the rope is an emotional mindset rather than a physical act of not texting / calling etc. I have the physical act there, almost, but my mindset is defintely not there yet. I hope it will get there soon though.

I am off to see my IC (was an MC until my wife stopped going) this afternoon.