Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

Hi P17, I agree that you need to go completely dark with your W. If it were me, I don't know if I would even allow visitation with my D since she is doing like she is (wouldn't want that influcing your child). I guess that is the bad in me! Not knowing much about the OM, I would think you need to consider what your D may be exposed to.....but anyway, that is your business and I suppose there are two ways to think about it. Has your W always had a good R with your D?

She always has had an excellent R with my daughter. Sometimes better than me :-) My D wouldn't be exposed to the OM at all as the contact with my D will always be me, my wife and my D.

Dropping the rope is a concept where in you have to think of an emotional rope you have tied around your wife. The harder you pull back to hold her....the harder she will pull away trying to escape. If you will drop that rope, she will stop pulling away. In fact, she will begin to look to see why you dropped that rope! Then she will notice other things about you. It is all about old human nature.....we want what we can't have. If she sees you are no longer intersted in her....and you have a life of your own....she'll become attracted. Of course, you have to be a man she can be attracted to. You already feel more like the man she fell in love with....so that is a great beginning!

Okay I see the concept now. I have to ask though does this work with every WAS? I get the distinct impression that my wife would be happier if there was no contact at all so dropping the rope won't make a difference to her. I know that I need to drop it anyway for my own sake but I can't see this working. I can though understand human nature and maybe that will kick in.

What I do take comfort in is that I had 7 years with my wife and that gives me a way bigger advantage over the OM.