That was my intention too, BJ. Female bonding and getting away from H. The Bay sounds fabulous. I absolutely adore boating. Hope you got to see the Blue Angels the first time around!
Things have been polite here - until tonight.
H says he's taking S to the submarine tomorrow with fil. I said I would like to tag along if that's ok. H says he doesn't know. I say why? H says "I don't want to drive so many people in my car." I say well we can talk about a real reason he doesn't want me there, or else I would like to go, I don't want to be home all day alone and it's my night with S.
H snaps, raises voice "Stop bugging me at 11 pm at night!" I have been prepared not to take his abusiveness any more. I got up and left the room.
I come back to get computer and say there is a nicer way to say that. H barks, "Maybe there is but stop bugging me at 11pm at night!" (again). He says it's "not his problem if I can't take a hint and I ask him five times."
So instead of buying it, I say, "well I haven't gotten a clear answer".
H says he doesn't know if he wants me to go or not. I decide inside that it's not all about what he wants. Then I let it go and left the room.
I should have been more upbeat and let it go. It's true asking five times doesn't get the clarity I'm looking for, it gets me abused. I guess what I was doing was pushing and pursuing - a litte. But I am trying to hold the balance between that and not letting myself be controlled by his abusive behavior.
But I did what I had to - I stayed calm, and I walked away. Now I'm in my room alone. And unless H can clearly explain his feelings to me, I am going to stick to what I want. I won't push it if it's a problem, but he needs to talk to me, not be verbally abusive.
