WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Hi "Mom"

It has been a long day. I got my keys to my apt and spent the better part of the evening cleaning. I did take a couple hour break to grab some dinner and a couple of beers with one of my friends from work. He wasn't planning on going out but I think he sensed it had been a hard day for me. That is what friends are about....

I did get my apt today. It was a very erie anti-climatic type of feeling. I thought it would be a positive but with all the negatives over the past couple of days, it was very hard for me to be happy about it. That's why I was glad that my friend was available to grab a couple of beers and dinner.

The past weekend was really tough, as it should have been our 10th anniversary on 10/10. I had such high expectations 10 years ago. I was glad to spend it with people I loved and who loved me, but I never would have guessed my wife would not have been there.... It is sad and it hurts. I know this is just a moment I need to get past. I was ok on Sat, even with the text. But now that I am sitting in the apt by myself it is really hitting me.

I tried to call a couple of folks, but they weren't available. I know I just need to "man up" and get through it.

I think I'm at the point that the next time she text me some "nonsense" not related to the boys to ask her to stop and that she should send it to her boyfriend or whoever else she is close to at that moment.

Then again, that could be the fact that I've been up since 3 AM and I'm just frustrated and tired.

Guess I should get to bed before I do something really stupid....