I'll offer a simple question that's helped me QUITE a lot through my situation:
"... and how is that working for you?"
Pretty much my IC has asked me that every time I've come to him and told him what I've done or been doing and how I've felt crazy about it: "So I checked the cell phone records and see that she's been talking to the OM like crazy and it's got me all torn up inside," I'd say.
".... and how is that working for you?" He'd respond. Pretty much he's encouraged me to realize things that I have done or did that were only going to make me crazier in the end. No, I don't like having no idea what my wife is doing at all right now. No, snooping around didn't help make me feel happier or GAL in the long run... it only made me feel dishonest and not honor who I am.
I'd encourage you to ask that to yourself when you find yourself "happening" to check out your W driveway multiple times a day or looking at who's on the porch, etc. ... How's that working for you?
