This has all helped me a great deal. Thanks so much for your posts.
I was walking around Disney today with my family, and something hit me (I was reading and posting on my blackberry - in a very thoughtful mood). It has to do with one of the many statements my W made the night she told me she wanted a D that has been burned into my memory. She said "Why couldn't you just love me for me." At the time, I had no idea what she was talking about. And until today, I still had no idea.
Understand, I am not perfect, but failing to tell my W I loved her or that she was beautiful (even when she was just wearing whatever around the house on a weekend), was not one of my shortcomings. If anything, I told her those things too often.
In thinking about the posts from today, it seems her statement of me not loving her for her is only understandable if she is insecure (which I think she is) and perceived my compliments as statements that were anything but compliments. If she thought when I told her she looked great, that what I meant was finally you look good after me having to see you not nice looking for so many days, then her perception would certainly be I did not love her for her. I cannot tell you how wrong she would be to have that perception, but I understand her perception is all that matters right now.
Am I making any sense and am I on the right track here? If I am on the right track, is this something she will have to solve on her own?
