Hi P17, I agree that you need to go completely dark with your W. If it were me, I don't know if I would even allow visitation with my D since she is doing like she is (wouldn't want that influcing your child). I guess that is the bad in me! Not knowing much about the OM, I would think you need to consider what your D may be exposed to.....but anyway, that is your business and I suppose there are two ways to think about it. Has your W always had a good R with your D?

I knew when you said you didn't care what she did that you were venting. You see, as long as you are in love with her...you will care. You will wish you didn't, but you will. So, don't beat yourself up when those old emotions reach up and grab you by the throat.

It is unfortunate that your W is living so close to you b/c you will see too much of what is going on. However, that can be turned around, you know? If you are gone out GAL, or you have friends over a lot....she will notice that, also.

Dropping the rope is a concept where in you have to think of an emotional rope you have tied around your wife. The harder you pull back to hold her....the harder she will pull away trying to escape. If you will drop that rope, she will stop pulling away. In fact, she will begin to look to see why you dropped that rope! Then she will notice other things about you. It is all about old human nature.....we want what we can't have. If she sees you are no longer intersted in her....and you have a life of your own....she'll become attracted. Of course, you have to be a man she can be attracted to. You already feel more like the man she fell in love with....so that is a great beginning!

You will have up & down days, but focus on a goal and keep doing what works.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!