Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

And we can't overlook what Trying is telling us above. Maybe she has OM waiting in the wings to have her fantasy life with. That is the most common reason for sabotaging the Retro process.

I have thought about this - I am of course suspicious - but I have seen no signs of it. No red flags other than the hesitance to work on the m.

Her computer is (now) open and unlocked. She leaves her email open (and has given me the password). Same with her FB account and her phone. When I have snooped (not in a while to stay sane and trust) there has been nothing suspicious. She does not know that I have access to her phone records, and when I have checked there, there is no sign of any activity there since the incidents in June. She leaves her phone open, unlocked and lying around. Nothing suspicious there. She left her phone unused and in the room all weekend. She isn't going out as much as she used to.

I just don't see it.

What she is doing is called unfair fighting. It is equivalent to a boxer hitting below the belt or biting. The only reason to fight unfair is if the person believes he/she can't win a fair fight. Is her position so weak that she can't present it in a fair way?

I actually think it is.

Her actual position can be summarized as (circular):
- I can't have feelings for you (because of our history), so I don't have feelings for you.
- I don't have feelings for you, so I don't want to have feelings for you (because that would be unnatural - you can't force chemistry).
- I don't want to have feelings for you, so I can't have feelings for you. (I can't force myself, You can't make me)

She really keeps falling back on the argument which she has used since day one of the bomb.

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Note: I do believe she has had a very difficult time in our R emotionally. We had a 2-year courtship which was largely long distance. Then the day after the honeymoon she moved to live with me in a new city, only to find she was married to a workaholic - away from her friends and having trouble finding her own new job. I was clueless and she never said anything, so I thought we were happy, but can now believe that she was truly unhappy from day 1.

Her main argument is that she believes that we are so different and so incompatible that she can never be truly in love and can never be truly unhappy - also a weak argument that falls apart if submitted to "Love is a decision", Forgiveness is a decision", "Feelings are neither right nor wrong", etc