It's too hard sometimes

[Gardener]

M A,

Driving back to my place I could just feel the wall she's put up. It was like being miles away while I stood right there in front of her. I wanted to hold her and couldn't reach her even when we touched. I realized there was no use spending time with her or talking to her. I don't want to feel that distance and the anger, to butt up against that wall over and over. I don't want to look into the beautiful face I love so much and see emptiness, regret and anger.

"For when love dies, it is not in a moment of angry battle,
nor when fiery bodies lose their heat.
It lies panting, exhausted
expiring at the bottom of a wall it could not scale."
Richard McCoy, quoted in The Walk Out Woman by Stephen ands Grey

I lie there panting looking into (as I've said repeatedly on my thread) Cold, Dead eyes and an expression of utter disdain.
And you're right You (and I) can't do anything with that woman.

Hope I didn't bum you out. Just commiserating.