New here, this is my story...

[sandi2]

Being sad is something that will take a while before you will not feel that way. You do what you can to beat it, but at the same time....you have to expect to have those feelings. Sometime, we just have to experience the emotion and allow it to run its course...if that is possible.

The evenings are tough b/c that is when you would ordinarly be with her and that is when it hits you the hardest. Maybe if you could find more to do in the evenings?

She told me it hurt to see me doing things she always asked me to do. I guess that is good, right?

I know it bothers you that she used the word "hurt" and that you don't want to see her hurt. That's normal b/c you still love her so much. But, I do see it as a good sign b/c she used that word instead of saying she was angry. I think she is noticing a lot and she cares.

He said my actions can only speak louder than words if my W see's them and that by being seperated, she can't see them, and what she does see, she can interpret in differnt ways.

That wasn't really fair of your FIL b/c this is something that is out of your control. So, that statement did not help your case any. It just made you feel bad.

Do I go through with it and not say anything? Act like I am okay with it? Or is there a point where I stop and say, "listen, I agree to do this with you because I know I can't make you happy, but I want you to know that I would prefer to try to fix our marriage one more time. If you are sure this is what you want, then we will go inside and sign, but if you are not 100% positive, then let's wait". Or something like that...

Well, I'm sure you have already told her all of these things, but if you feel that you could never forgive yourself if you didn't say it one more time....and that that would work better than her seeing a very self-confident man....then do what you think you need to do. But.....please don't say it until right before going in to sign the papers, b/c I think it will hurt your case. There is still life after a D and there would be a good chance that she would want to reconcile afterwards.

She emailed me as I was writting this to say that she has "heard" that I am seeing someone. Jez, small town...

Do you see this as her being jealous, or is it b/c of the lifestyle that you use to live?

I would ordinarly say that this is a great sign, if the W still cares enough to be jealous. I still think it is a good sign.....b/c if she didn't have some feelings for you....why would she care what you did? Right??