You may want to just go passive at this point, and say something like, "I'm sorry you feel like I'm like just like your father. Obviously, I can't change who I am. If there are some behavior things I do, I'm open to changing how I relate to you. If you feel it's deeper than that, then I will grant you whatever you want. It's my preference that if you do wish to divorce we live separately..." Then wait. Don't fight for the marriage, don't tell her you'll change, don't placate her. Just be calm and let her tell you what she wants. If you try too hard to win her back, she'll see it as weakness.
See what she says. If she insists on divorce, then I'd sell the house, get agreement, in writing from her, to split the proceeds after debts, then live in rental accommodations separately. It may take a while to sell the house, but at least you'd be doing something.
I don't care, then I do, then I don't, then I do... la de da
