Great exchange of info everyone. Thanks for brainstorming on this.
GIMA, one other thing I would submit for your consideration is, is it possible that there is something about your W being critical in this way that pushes a button that you have? To some people a question like "Did you know that you overpaid the ice cream vendor?" would go unnoticed. ......and is it possible that there is something about YOUR behavior that triggers this response from your W (in addition to the dynamic caused by having her parents in the mix)? The example that I'm thinking of when asking this second question is that in my situation, I have come to realize that I am a "distancer" and my H was a "pursuer" in our relationship. H had to work extra hard to get my attention because I learned to be busy with work all the time in my FOO. I became a distancer because my family was smothering. I moved out of state to get away........Anyway, because of this I didn't give H the attention he so longed for (totally MY issue on this point).
