Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

Thanks All,

Still licking my wounds here.

@Kettricken - you ask a great question, same one that I have been asking myself.

Just thinking about the anger gets it started again right now, however, so I'm not ready to examine it yet.

If I'd had someplace to go last night, I would not have come home.

I totally lost it early this morning - blew up and threw a fit like never before - over absolutely nothing. The anger may be justified (or maybe not) but the behavior (throwing a childish temper tantrum - stomping around, throwing things out of my way and slamming doors) was not. After I cooled down I pulled my wife aside and apologized: "Over the past 24 hours" I said, "I have been experiencing waves of burning anger like I have never experienced before - the sort of anger that makes me see nothing but red and lose all ability to think rationally. I am sorry for and ashamed of my actions this morning. I don't know the true source of the anger. I'm sure it has to do with "us", but don't know exactly. It most certainly is not caused by the immediate irritation that triggered it. I don't want to talk about it now - anything I say will be premature and wrong. I just have to work through by myself for a while.

She nodded and said OK - end of discussion.

Since my S7 also saw me get angry, I also sat him on my lap and said "You know how sometimes you get so angry that you can't even think or talk right? (he does). He said "Yes". I continued "Well, that's what happened to me this morning. It is OK for me to be angry, but it's not OK for me to act like that. I'm sorry." He said "That's OK" and smiled and we went on to another topic.

I've been under control since then, although as I write I can still feel it simmering (triggered by writing this).