Depressive WAW or Depressive MLC?- both with an EA

[Ready2Change]

should I place any importance on the fact that my WAW has never mentioned Divorce since she became a WAW?

Do not place any importance on anything she says/does. Focus on making positive changes to you. Watch for positive changes in R. Keep doing what works. Stop doing what does not work.

It seems that whenever she initiates a R discussion, it ends up as a circular discussion and we seem to be always talking about the same things.

Listen. Validate.

"Yes, I understand you feel XYZ"
"It must be hard to feel XYZ"
"I can see why you feel XYZ"

How can I stop this circular discussion from going over the same stuff several times? How can I stop talking about the same things in general?

STOP TALKING. LISTEN. VALIDATE.

Or am I wrong in saying anything

Drop the rope. Do not argue or debate. A woman wants to be understood.

she just needs to vocalize her feelings and I should validate them?

YES. Listen to her.

When she talks and makes a particular point that asks for a response from me, should defend myself and gently argue, or be pliant and accept her point of view and allow her to continue talking?

You have several choices. Lets try this:

W: "I want a D, what do you think?"

There are many responses to this, here are a few:

H: "I don't want a D" (Worst response)
H: "I understand you want a D"
H: "Hmmm, could you elaborate"
H: "I can see why you feel D is our only option, I see many other possible solutions to our problems"

What one do you think would work the best? DO you have a better response?

We do not argue, there are no raised voices, we dont use the kids against each other, we dont 'call' each others family, we are sharing our bank account and neither of us have stripped the account, we dont try to hurt each other.

These are all good things.

The only time my WAW spoke of d was 2 weeks before she walked out, and she said that she did not want to get a d.

This is also good. Keep working on positive changes.

Is any of this significant? Does it give any insight as to where we are headed?

Face your fears. D not fear D. Work on YOU. Become the best YOU you can. I recommend reading the books I have listed on my first post of my thread.

Change the way you interact with waw and the whole R changes.