I've Come Full Circle #27

[kat727]

The thing about it was his presentation. "This is how much your half is and you can give me the check Tuesday." I mean he knows that our son has contacts and they have to be bought each year. He knows he has a prescription that needs to be filled. He is just hoping that I won't pass that along to him.

Seriously I want as little to do with him as possible. He is still caught up with GF/skank and his whole demeanor has gone downhill but hey I should remember she is a really nice person. BARF

kat

[mishka422]

Let him pay half of EVERYTHING then. Unless it was specifially built into the CS agreement that his CS covers his portion of the co-pays, then it should b written that medical expenses for the children are an even split. What does it specifically say? Hold the a$$ to it!!!

[ClingingToHope]

I'd create a spreadsheet with the bills and then email it to him asking for his half. Talking face to face brings up negative emotions. After my D, I plan on mostly dealing with financial stuff by email because money talk was one of the major reasons we didn't get along.

[kat727]

From what my lawyer told me it is supposed to be split 80/20 but I will have to double check. Somehow ex argues everything I ever say about any of this stuff and says it is 50/50. Ok so even at that, he hasn't paid half and I haven't asked because really it hasn't been all that much.

It is the attitude of entitlement that he has aquired that bothers me. Just like he thinks he is supposed to have the kids for all the major holidays this year because he never asked for anything last year.

This is the same coward who didn't even bother to tell me he filed but sat there with the entire family at Thanksgiving, I found out via a "friend" who read it in the paper and just had to tell me. Everything with him is the cowards way. He doesn't think we should have any issues communicating because this is about the kids. Oh, I am sorry, I've got myself on a rant!!

kat

[mishka422]

After my D

Whoa! That sounds horribly like you've given up entirely! Stop that!

I found out via a "friend" who read it in the paper and just had to tell me.

WHAT????!!!!! In the paper? Seriously? They publish petitions for D in the paper there??? OMG! It must go on for pages and pages!

Yes, coward. Yes, a$$. The agreement is written 80/20? I assume the 80% is supposed to be his. IMO, he needs a reality check and you are just the one to give it to him...BIG TIME!
Kids are expensive, he should know that since you have 4 of them! Put together a spreadsheet of every medical expense you have since the D was final. Total his 80% at the bottom and subtract what he has actually paid toward that. Send him an itemized freakin' bill and make copies and give to your L. This is completely ridiculous! It's not like he doesn't have the money to pay it, he is just chosing not to. WRONG! He doesn't get to pick and choose what he pays for in regards to the kids.

[kat727]

I think that he thought once he moved in with skank he would have ALL this money to blow on the kids. I guess he didn't think that she would want any of his money for living there. Anyway, he is finally starting to get that she wants a share too and that fantasy of his isn't quite accurate(though it hasn't changed anything that I can tell).

So much so that he waits until the last possible moment to pay me alimony. Thank goodness I am not counting on it for the car payment. I know that must sound awful of me since some of you guys don't even get CS out of the WAS but I think this is his attempt to manipulate me. You guys know he of course blames me for the bankruptcy because gee how was he supposed to pay our bills and child support and alimony. Just too bad for me that I had to file too. That is his weapon of choice...manipulation, with me and now the kids.

Oh and no the divorce petitions aren't terribly long since they get published every day and my city has about 120,000.

kat

[mishka422]

It is amazing that they think they aren't going to have to pay to live with their adultery partners isn't it?

It doesn't sound awful at all kat. We all have our own situations but that doesn't make them any worse or any better. One of my friends is constantly apologizing to me for complaining about her xh and his manipulative, lax way of handling their kids because she knows what my financial situation is. As I tell her....don't apologize. Your situation is equally as painful for you to deal with as mine is for me.

[dday101798]

but hey I should remember she is a really nice person.

Do they even think of this stuff BEFORE it jets out of their mouth? I got the same kind of horsesh!t out of my XW, "OM is a really good man and he respects you". Yeah ok, if tearing a family apart and removing a father from 2 kids lives is the work of a good person who defines respect, hell, I must have reached saint status by now.

[Gypsy]

Hey Ms. kat..

In the settlement be sure to include the medical payments and the exact amount of child support/alimony to be direct deposited to your bank account. It made a world of difference for me.

*hugs*

[kat727]

He already pays child support(via garnishment) directly into my account. I can count on that on a schedule. Since he is garnished as much as he legally can be, he then has to pay the alimony through the payment center at the State. So again that is directed deposited but just whenever he is in the mood to pay. They will let him get 3 months behind before they will do anything about it. Right now he is $500 behind.

The only reason this all came up was because he saw the insurance claims come through(he works for an insurance company) and he knew how much it was going to be and said to let him know when I got the bill and he would pay part. I do that and then this starts his drama king crud.

This is really just the first time in a year of being divorced that this has come up.

kat