I am not sure which of the things H has brought up really are most important to him at this stage. I know some things he has mentioned as being the big deal breaker type things were pretty small instances (a lunch in a cafe I don't hardly remember, for example). Likewise, things I mentioned an being a bad evening for me he does not recall that way at all, so understanding we had very different issues we did not communicate.
We both tried to please each other and made assumptions about what was important instead of saying what was important for us, so clear communication is a big one, even though we talked well. Also, LL, I did not appreciate how we had different LLs until recently.
During the crisis, I did not understand to back off completely for the first half, or how H had made it all about me. I had asked if it were me several times, and ws told no until he said he wanted to leave, so very frustrating and out of character. He said he did not know what was wrong.
