It's a highly controversial subject on here (dating others), but even those opposed to it admits that it WORKS.
I think you need to do what's right for your own moral values, and whatever you decide I would advise you to be open about it with your wife and let her know your intentions.
Read up on "going dark" and "The Last Resort Technique," especially, when your books arrive. DR is very similar to DB, and most say it's better (I've only read DB), so read DR first.
