I think that depends on where you started from too. I never shut up previously. Just listening was good for a few months to allow me to listen to what H was saying and let me think abut what was actually important to me. It also gave me the chance to learn to detach my emotions from my speech.
It is only now that I am ready to assemble my thoughts and speak up. My H is currently not in a place to talk at all, clammed up completly. Even little digs are said as he walks through the room so I would have to get up and follow to engage. So right now I am practising HOW I want to say it.
