You also need to protect yourself immediately vis-a-vis her physical abuse accusations. I would take a date-stamped pic of her, thinking of some excuse to do so, so that you can show she has no split lip.
I would also (if you haven't done so already) begin to keep a DAILY LOG of EVERYTHING, esp. financial, any contact with OM, abuse accusations, everything.
Have you spoken to an atty yet? Preferably a good family law attorney who specializes in "men's rights" issues.
