I'm not aware of FB having that capability, although I guess if they both delete you as a "Friend" that would be the net effect?
I hadn't thought of it, but your explanation is very reasonable. Cheating spouses tend to be very paranoid, and the guy might have been monitoring his wife's account to see if she was e-mailing anyone about being suspicious of her H.
I'd suggest contacting her either in person or by phone right away. She very well have never gotten the note, and now your W and OM are just doing the "Saint" routine, and driving things underground, thinking they have averted the incoming missile.
