WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Just more journaling

I got caught up in traffic on Friday so I couldn't get back in time to pick up my boys from school. I had to call my WAW to pick them up for me (first time since I started work in NY). She was annoyed that I didn't give her more notice. I told her that I have already been on the road for a 3 hours and it looks like I'm about 1.5 hours away. It looked like I was going to miss picking them up by 30 minutes. I had tried to call her earlier but she didn't answer her cell or desk phone. I told her that I even tried to call her mom but she didn't answer either.

She was still irritated when she said she would get them. She called me after she picked up our 3 year old and was heading over to pick up our 7 year old. I thanked her for picking them up and then she started venting about her day/week. I let her vent a little and then offered that if she wanted to, she could take them to dinner and I would join them and would pick up the tab. She said she already had it worked out to drop them off at the farm that her mom was helping out at (the boys like to pick berries and see the chickens and other farm animals).

I then asked her about Sat (our 10 year anniversary) about how she had never gotten back to me with an answer, other than she thought it would be weird to grab dinner together. She said she didn't think it was a good idea as in the past she had felt that I had never wanted to celebrate it and it would just bring back bad memories. I told her that regardless of how this turns out, I still look at our anniversary in a positive way as I have two boys that I will always love and cherish. So whether we are just mom and dad in the future and no longer husband and wife, I have no regrets of the last 10 years. She said she agreed. Then I hung up.

Sat was a busy day (good thing since it helped keep my mind off of what day it was). I took the boys to their dentist appointment. She had her appointment right before the boys. The boys didn't see her, but I saw her in one of the rooms as we walked by. She sent me a text asking if I needed her to stay and help. I text that we were good. She then text ok. I text back - have a good 10-10 (our anniversary). She text back you too.

I then took the boys to their first cub scout event. The boys had a blast. We ate lunch with the scout troops. I ran into a few friends a I knew. It was a good time.

We had to leave early to meet our friends for an early dinner and get ready for the parade. Dinner was fun and the obys were really excited to be in a parade. They got into their costumes as well as my friends and I since we were in the parade as well.

We got to the parade and we checked out all the other floats and fire trucks and stuff that was going to be in the parade while we waited for it to start. It was a blast. After the parade, we went to an after parade party. We didn't get home till almost 11:30.

The one bummer was during the parade, she text me "Just realized I'm having the same ann dinner I had 8 years ago...." I had no idea what that meant. I know she normally gets filet mignon so I wasn't sure it was that or she was out at the resturant that we went to 8 years ago or whatever. I didn't reply.

On Sunday, my boys were still beat from being up so late. They still got up around 7:30 :-( although that was about an hour past the time the normally woke up. We went out for breakfast and went to a car show. We had lunch and the 3 of us wound up taking a nap. We woke up to play some baseball, grabbed some dinner and they got ready for their mom to pick them up.

I buckled them in and my 3 year old was really huggy and kept saying he would miss me. My 7 year old looked a little sad, but he cheered up some when I let him "choke" me with his bear hug. I said that I would skype them tomorrow.

After they drove away, my WAW called asking if I had given our 3 year old any medicine (he was coming down with a cold). I told her no, just some vitamins. She asked when I was leaving to go to NY. I told her not till 4AM as I had forgotten to get a hotel for Sunday nite since I was getting an apt on Monday. She asked if it was a hotel apt, I told her no, it was a regular apt. She just said oh. So I hung up.

She text me about 3 AM to tell me my 3 year old was really sick and was asking if I had to go in on Monday. I thanked her for letting me know and asked her to give him a hug and kiss of me and told her that he could call me if he wanted to talk with me. She text back ok.

So I made the drive into NY at 4AM and I am beat. It is going to be a long day, but at least I get my apt today. I'm a little down about it as it seems so permanent now that I will be in NY. When I was in a hotel, it felt like I was just there temporarily. Now it feels more permanent. I don't want to be so far away from my boys. Not sure if I'm just tired or what, but I've got an ache in my gut from today.

So goes another weekend with my boys.....