Hi Nell, Rabbit and Oz, Thanks for your feedback. I'm always interested in what others have to say. The tone of H's texts were positive and as you say, respectful. (He is usually respectful until he gets too close and that's when he usually loses it. However, the period of respect and positivity lasts longer and the disrespect and silence from him is shorter. This time however, I have been very, very clear that I will not be in contact again the minute that there is disrespect.)
I think he wants to maintain contact because any time I contact him, he always replies and quite fully. It used to be ok, yes or no. He thanks me more frequently now, as well.
For now I am the one who has to initiate slowly but surely. Last night I sent him a text about our D and his reply was quite long and considered. We text back and forth several times. I finished the convo first. Today I text him when I was at work to see if he could help me with a technical problem; haven't got him to problem solve for me at work for a long time and this is his expertise. He said to call him and gave me his home no. He was both pleasant and helpful.
Oz, I think whenever we are alone or in a comfortable family setting like dinner we have an awkward beginning but then the convo flows fairly easily. The awkwardness yesterday was like when you meet someone new. I guess it was because it was an unexpected visit and I hadn't planned it in my mind. I did however, stand back at observe him and I wanted to give him a hug and say everything is fine; I don't know but that's the feeling I had. He doesn't exude happiness. Maybe that's a facade.
I have also detached a little and I think this is good because when I do see him I am not as anxious and desperate for him to accept an invite, or to stay longer etc. He has to be feeling that, too. If nothing else we will end up as friends and that has to be better than enemy territory!
I still maintain that H stuffed up and knows that but he's in too deep and he's too proud to acknowledge his mistake. Just my thoughts and I could be wrong (and I am pretty often!!)In the meantime I'm trying to respect him and move slowly, slowly.
