It's too hard sometimes

[TooLateForMe]

Question: would it be out of line to ask for C in exchange for signing the papers to take me off lease?

I feel like I'm giving ground if I sign. It could be a seen as manipulation so I'm asking here before I talk to her.

Please let me know what you think...

[TooLateForMe]

anyone? kind of need some outside perspective on this one. don't want to make an a** out of myself but I don't want to buckle on the lease issue. the temptation is to say that since I have no control, this is what I want. If you want x then I want y.

I feel that I have no control but don't want to make things worse!

[TooLateForMe]

Well, I'll report back about it, then. It's time-sensitive so I can't really wait 48 hrs. I may bail on the idea but I feel she holds all the cards. I'm tired of being pushed around but don't want to be a total jerk.

[TooLateForMe]

sent a text. "I won't sign ANYTHING."

WRONG thing to do!!! And I knew it and did it anyway. I set myself back a LONG LONG way. Led to a conversation about past mistakes that I think was a bit therapeutic but definitely reinforced for her why she's chosen this path.

Kicking myself, especially because I knew better. Now what?

[Lotus]

Don't kick yourself. She won't like you any better if you give in to her.

[TooLateForMe]

I had no choice but to sign the papers. She and our Ds wouldn't have an apartment if I didn't.

Had a big discussion about the R and I just listened and validated. I ended up staying late (here now) to watch the girls while she goes out.

It was okay but the vibe after the discussion has been hostile. No real words that suggest anger but I can feel it under everything. Maybe I'm projecting a bit. I'm a bit angry.

Just cleaned the kitchen, got D13 to bed and leaving...

Don't know when or if I want to talk to w again. The anger under the surface and the emotional walls make me want to steer clear of it all for a long time.

[Lotus]

The dates in your signature don't make sense. You remarried in October '08, and she dropped the bomb 3 months before that?

[TooLateForMe]

bingo, lotus. That was the 1st bomb. she kicked me out and then asked me to come back less than two weeks later. That whole scenario plays with my mind a lot lately, creating some false hope.

[Lotus]

I don't see why you got remarried a year ago if you were recently divorced and she was still breaking up with you. You must be a glutton for punishment.

[TooLateForMe]

1st divorce was MY doing. Got back together then broke up then got back together, got married again. She threw me out, asked for me back and then there was a 3 mo separation. 3 mo separation lasted 2 wks when she asked for D.

The 2nd M was a new commitment, one that I never had before in the R. And after that was a 3 mo honeymoon period where things were great. But I backslid and she had her own prescription med-inspired breakdown that led to that. I take a lot of the blame for things going wrong. But I don't think that matters much.

Glutton for punishment? I dish it out, too. I'm looking for a whole M and I'm taking care of my issues. I'm starting to seriously detach from the sitch and my W.

She has a lot of anger issues she's in denial about and I won't be able to break through. She's going to have to deal with them on her own and I don't see that happening any time soon.