Absolutely fantastic news, I am sooooooo happy for you. Yes, you have a lot of hard work ahead of you, same as me, but it is so much easier when you both are working for the same goal.
Re: letting him call the shots re: his mother. Well, I have a few things to be grumpy about myself where she's concerned (on top of the whole WTF does she think she's doing to my H and her own ^$@#* grandson?!!), so no contact may well be a good thing for awhile. And he didn't just come out with a 'don't talk to my mother' rule. I said that his sister was advocating making peace-offerings toward her, but his father was telling me not to, so what was his take?
I agree that she has issues, and for whatever reason, I'm triggering them. It's also easier to demonize me than to admit that maybe her baby boy did something to merit my leaving.
I am capable of making peace with her, but I'm not going to throw myself under a bus to do it. There are some things I need to say (even if she doesn't hear them) , and some boundaries that need to be set. But I think, all in all, that I probably agree with no contact for now.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
She may be serious, but she is underestimating the power of reverse psychology.
Reverse psychology is a persuasion technique involving the false advocacy of a belief or behavior contrary to the belief or behavior which is actually being advocated. This technique relies on the psychological phenomenon of reactance, in which a person has a negative emotional response in reaction to being persuaded, and thus chooses the option which is being advocated against. It is often used on children due to their lack of psychological understanding and higher rate of reactance.
