A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Hi, all,

Many, many thanks for the continued stream of good wishes. Today we have a mix of the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good - Friday night we went to a fundraiser dinner for kidlet's school. The dinner was at the home of a classmate and we had a great time. We got to sit and chat with the hosts an other parents, and the kids had an awesom time running all over the property, swinging on a big tree swing, waving glowsticks around in the dark and generally being kids.

Saturday was spent at a fall festival in the local downtown. We met up with the D's, walked all over, sampled treats at many of the locations, did wine tasting, let the kids have ice cream and jump in bounce houses, etc. After the festival, H and his best pal from childhood wanted to go to a local brew pub. I said fine, have a great time but it ended up with all four of us going. And we had a great time there, too. The pal came back to the house, and H, pal, and kidlet all played video games together.

Now for the stickier stuff - H broke up with OW today. I suppose that falls under 'Good.' He said she was taking it well, so he'd see how the next week or two progressed. With all of the activities Fri. Night and Sat., I haven't had a chance to discuss my feeling on contact between them yet. I'm going to give it a little time, 2-3 weeks or so, out of respect for the fact that this was pretty much a 'real' relationship started when everyone thought D was a certainty and lasted a good year and a half.

H is bearing up well, though I can see the strain (especially in light of what I'll get to under "Ugly"). Not knowing this was all going down today, I made a bacon and apple corn pudding for breakfast, then turned around and used the drippings in the skillet to start a pork and sweet potato stew from Emeril. Once I found out what was going on, I told H I would be there in whatever way he needed me, whether it was hugs and comfort, or just to give him space. Initially, he asked for space but he was coming to me to hug me half an hour later.

Now for the ugly...

Apparently this all started when MIL called. She wanted to come up here to visit and until now, I guess folks had just kept quiet that I was still here. So H had to tell her, and he told her that we are 'going to spend the next several months together and see how things go.' H thought this approach was a better way to break the news than to say, "We've reconciled. Deal with it."

MIL is not pleased, to say the least. She wants nothing to do with me, will not speak to me, will not acknowledge me as family and told H that she may ask us to move out of the house. H also expects from earlier conversations (albeit more than a year ago) that he will be disinherited, with everything going to his sister.

So, H is having to deal with a whole lot of suckage right now. On the bright side, that he chose me while knowing all of that says a fair piece about his committment to me.

I will take care of him as best I can. The bit about possibly having to move is a blow to him as he is very attached to this house. Additionally, this house is the inheritance he may be losing.

I am expecting that FIL and SIL will work on MIL, but MIL has a long and glorious history of holding grudges.

So... I'm pretty good on taking care of H while all of this is going on, but anybody got suggestions on how to handle the MIL?

H says to wait it out, to do nothing at present. I've indicated my willingness to attempt to repair the relationship with her, but he says to do nothing for now. Anything I did would be seen as manipulative. Of course, he also admits that doing nothing could easily be thrown at me later, but for the moment, he says it's the best course.